This Will Never Work

24.12.2024, 14:23
8,662

The long-awaited New Year is already on the horizon.

A little more and... But here we should take a break and even look back. How much joy did this outgoing, seemingly ordinary 2024 year bring to people, which everyone is already in a hurry to part with? We also hoped at one time, and maybe it would turn out to be successful and finally the war would end. No, we guessed wrong. We didn't wait to see it, and this year is leaving, like all the previous ones, without even trying to catch on, linger, stay with us for another term. And why does it need this? Not a president, not a boss, not an official. No December miracles and intricate tricks. Another year of our life has simply passed in its own way. Let's watch it go and meet the New Year. With the same hopes. There is very little time left until it.

Especially since our times are incredibly cruel, they don't like jokes, they don't waste time on trifles. Here, every day is a separate story. Meticulous and unyielding. Besides, before the New Year, it is customary to sort out old rubble, mercilessly throw everything unnecessary into the trash, and make unimaginably daring plans, at least for January. And there is nothing to say about those who seem to be endowed with the people's trust. The times are really difficult to the extreme.

And even interests sometimes do not correspond to the general plan. Someone is still impatiently waiting for the New Year holidays, and someone is simply fixated on the January inauguration of President Trump and the fateful negotiations with him. Quite recently, one such leader and part-time conqueror decided not to hesitate in vain and directly address his entire country, get support and please it with what he sees in the future. And at the same time, answer the most pressing questions. It was called the “Direct Line”. It has already become a tradition. And it allowed the Kremlin authorities to keep the state in shape.

This time everything was fun and scary. Questions rained down. Nimble girls ran everywhere, Some guys entered with a flag “from there”. They strengthened it right there above the leader's head. And he was in good shape. And with broad strokes, in full view of everyone, he created a bright image of the coming year. No one needed any Santa Claus, since it immediately became clear to everyone that the native authorities had prepared one gift for the New Year for everyone. And, of course, this was that same “Oreshnik”. In its shadow, it was so joyful and carefree for everyone who selflessly loved their homeland and this caring government. And at the same time for others who had long wanted to nail somebody’s balls to the wall.

It is always difficult for a ruler to talk to the people. But here such an atmosphere of mutual trust and understanding arose that he relaxed and began to be frank. And even to joke shamelessly. It would seem, why the hell did he suddenly decide to start this terrible, bloody war under the ridiculous nickname “special military operation”? And then it turned out that all this was not in vain. He simply knows and understands all his comrades. And the rest are of no interest to him. That is why the words arose simple and understandable to everyone. It was only necessary to remind them about something of their own, but almost forgotten. “You know, when everything is calm, measured, stable, we get bored. Stagnation. We want some action!..”

The country caught its breath and gasped in amazement — here it is! They waited so long, they hoped so much. And then almost instantly everything fell into place. What special military operation? Action! A native word through and through. And so that no one would doubt anymore that this is the main trend of the coming year, it was decided to stun the country. And address the New Year's televised greetings to the people not from the Kremlin, not from Red Square or other arenas of fierce power, but straight from the front. It will be cool. So that bullets will whistle at your temple. Action!..

The henchmen approved. Joyful and noisy. And the security service flatly refused to take the strictly guarded facility to the combat zone. Dangerous and unpredictable. And so ended the most desperate rush to future glory. And how it was planned! And what a cool trick it would have been before the yet unplanned negotiations with Trump. But everything fell through because of some stupid rules. Or maybe take control of everything and organize your own security? No, you can't. The order must be strict and specific.

In order not to be torn apart by the contradictions of service instructions and your own orders, it was better to leave, retire to the quiet of the office and work with documents. Not to call anyone. And start with a review of current news. But even that didn't help. They all seemed to be from the planet of losers. Riots. Catastrophes. Nature's pranks. Storms drive spilled fuel oil to the Krasnodar coast. Ukrainian drones attack the airfield in Millerovo. A Russian dry cargo ship sinks in the Mediterranean. Horror beyond hope.

And just one ray of light in this nightmare. Something simple and understandable. Lusaka. Zambia. Two people are suspected of attempting to “harm through witchcraft” the country's president, Hakainde Hichelema. As irrefutable evidence, one of these criminals was found to have amulets and two alive and very nimble chameleons. The criminals will face a strict trial and inevitable punishment. And here is a portrait of the president who has been subjected to a terrible threat, all sad and dejected. He believed in his voters so much, and they... What treachery, however!

And this before the New Year! When even here, in the Kremlin, some unidentified Santa Claus with his suspicious gift is just trying to get into the most cherished office. Stupid ideas!

This Will Never Work

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